Author Archives: Jared

Walk a Mile in Your Shoes?

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We’re all familiar with the expression “Walk a mile in his shoes before you criticize, then you may understand him.” (And, of course, the corollary, “Walk a mile in his shoes, then when you criticize, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.”)

I’ve been musing for awhile on that notion, but I have to take it a step further to really get a grasp on it myself. How about stepping out of your skin and into someone else’s? What would it feel like to BE him?

The other day, I shared some hard cider with my dad. He said, “This is something you might drink instead of a beer. Not what comes to mind when you think of cider.” I nodded, didn’t think much of it, then tonight I drank another hard cider and realized, “Wait a minute, he means that beer is good and cider is bad because it’s too sweet. This isn’t just a case of ‘every beverage in its place.'”

I have a sweet tooth. For me, beer is …well… it’s ok. Take it or leave it, but cider is good, unless I’m in the right mood for a beer, but that’s rare. It wasn’t a big thing, but it sort of turned the world on its head for a minute because I realized that, living in my dad’s skin, sweet really isn’t a GOOD thing.

I can’t believe I’m the only one who’s ever realized, “That’s a part of what it must be like to be him.” I would think (I would hope) that just about everybody else on earth has had that experience at least once… but do we really stop and think, most of the time, what it’s actually like to be other people?

Now, take off your worldview for a second…

Take this a step further and imagine yourself being in another person’s skin who believes in an entirely different set of values from yourself.

A great example of this was an article that a cousin brought to my attention awhile back about a NPR executive who did exactly that.

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/timothymeads/2017/10/22/former-npr-ceo-actually-talks-to-conservatives-makes-shocking-discoveries-n2398782

Short version: Typical lefty discovers that “evangelical Christians” aren’t actually a bunch of hateful cultists and comes to see that the world looks really really different when you operate from a different set of preconceptions.

On the other side of that coin, I often have conservative friends suggest to me that “the media” is actually run by people who are in collusion and have an agenda to destroy America.

I have direct, personal experience with people from the national media. They believe VERY differently from me, but I went to college with a bunch of them. I spent two years in company with people who think that NPR has a middle-of-the-road view of the world. (Granted NPR tries to be non-political, but that’s not the same thing.)

During that time, I came to realize that “the media” is mostly just a sub-society that doesn’t mix much with other parts of society as a whole. They actually believe what they say and say what they believe, the same as the rest of us do, and they are PASSIONATE about it!

(This leaves aside the discussion about reporting the truth vs changing the world, but that’s for another day.)

NOBODY is the bad guy in his own eyes.

Imagine that you’re drinking and driving.

If you’re reading this, then you probably don’t do that as a rule. (If you do, you should have your license revoked for life… but moving on.)

I can imagine myself drinking and driving. It’s not even hard. It’s exactly the same decision as eating that extra piece of candy or having that extra scoop of ice cream when you KNOW that you shouldn’t. All that’s required is a slightly higher disregard for the consequences… just a little bit less forethought and care for others, a little more self focus… (Yeah, I said a little. In the scope of my life experience I can say that definitively. SUBJECTIVELY, it’s very little. All it takes is a particularly bad night and a bit of judgment lapse. You’re really not THAT drunk after all.)

Every one of us plays the odds every day in SOME way, and I’m willing to bet that anybody who’s willing to undergo any significant self-examination can see somewhere in their life where they aren’t that considerate of others. Driving is a great example because most of us do it and it’s dangerous (also granted, drunken driving is probably the most common, inexcusably reckless action people take in our society), but there are any number of parallels where a serious look at our own behavior can yield a parallel.

Now take the most extreme example you can think of and put yourself in that person’s skin. If we’re honest, none of us is very different from any other.

If you’re interested in a REALLY serious look at this, check out the book Ordinary Men by Christopher Browning. Did you know that the Nazi death squads weren’t specially recruited or trained for killing Jews? They were just ordinary people who were put in the wrong set of circumstances. Only a few percent objected.

I can put myself in their shoes too. I can imagine living in their skin.

So… Perspective

The only difference between us at a base level, any of us, is perspective. A little perspective shift and you stand just a little way from where you are now. A little more, and a little more, and a little more and you’re sitting across the table from yourself with a totally different view of life.

That makes perspective the defining characteristic behind how we live. It’s IMPORTANT, and the most important part of perspective is not the facts which define life. It’s the importance we place on the facts. Two people may have the same set of facts and come away with very different views of the world because of what they hold to be important.

(It’s also worth making the point “But for the grace of God, there go I.” Judge not.)

The Responsibility of a Brother

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Galatians 6: 1-6 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each others’ burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.

This is the essence of our instruction on how we should treat our brothers and sisters in Christ. This is really a very simple pattern. I think if all Christians were able to simply erase their bad habits and all the social patterns (and demonic influence) that plague us, this would be enough to show us how to treat each other.

First, tend to your own.

We should always look primarily to our own actions and hearts. Each of us will give his own account to God. That means that each of us should be concerned about our own sins and troubles, not those of others. Each of us must carry his own load.

This is incredibly important, because if we don’t live from a right heart ourselves, we can’t offer anything of value to our brothers and sisters.

Second, don’t go looking for trouble.

If we find another person to be in sin, we are to restore them gently. The verse does not suggest that we go examine others’ lives to see if they are doing wrong. Instead, it suggests that if others’ sin comes to our attention, we should help to lift them up to the level at which they ought to live.

Third, bear each others’ burdens.

If one of us is in trouble, then the whole body is brought lower for it. If you see a brother or sister in trouble, lend a hand. If we all lend each other support, we meet each others’ needs. Often, no more than this is needed.

Finally, share the good things you find.

It is in sharing the good things we learn with those around us that we grow and enrich others. That doesn’t mean you force yourself on people. What we care about should be what we talk about, though. If you get new insight, you will naturally share it with the people around you if it matters to you.

So, in summary? Love your neighbor as yourself.

Yes, really. Our job is to lift those around us up, using whatever gifts God has given us. It is that simple.

The “S” Word

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In modern society, we don’t want to say the word “sin.” In my generation, at least, the concept of sin has been so maligned that the word itself is uncomfortable to speak, even for those of us who know its reality. It’s one of those trigger words that automatically discredits the speaker, relegating something that should be serious to the level of unicorns and pixies.

Even among believers, the concept of sin is so misused that it has been rendered toxic (and before I could speak to society’s sin dysfunction, I have to look at the confusion in the church.)

Sin Among Christians

For a meaningful proof of this, take a concordance and look up the word sin. Do a quick count of how many times sin is associated with condemnation or destruction and how many times it is associated with forgiveness or repentance.

My point is simple: In God’s vocabulary, sin would be defined something like this: “Sin is man trying to run away from the best possible thing that could happen to him.” God’s vocabulary also has words in it like “condemnation” and “destruction” but their meanings are almost directly opposed to that of sin. Sin is damage done to our relationship with God that must be repaired.

Try this: When you think of sin, instead of associating it with condemnation or destruction, think of it in terms of a sad mistake to be fixed. As I’ve come to understand, that’s quite close to how God sees it.

Society’s malady

Secular society mocks sin in the same way that Atheism mocks God. To society, sin is the ultimate acknowledgment of personal guilt.

There are only two responses to such an acknowledgment. First is to accept and attempt to live with guilt (which leads us to the cross and Christ). Second is to deny the reality of that guilt.

This is the malady of society. They deny their guilt, and in so doing deny reality and substitute their own delusions. Because God’s reality is always there, the bedrock on which everything is built, the only way to deny it is to run from it. This can be done with mockery or simple denial, or by keeping one’s attention entirely away from that reality.

In the end, the reality is that our sin is a terrible separation from the God who loves us. It is not an arbitrary judgment on us or a condemnation. It is a simple acknowledgment that we’re running away from Him.