There is so much that goes into this post that it almost seems I am putting the cart before the horse. Everything I have experienced and learned and reasoned in my life culminates here, and unpacking it fully is impossible. Even a cursory attempt may take a lifetime. Still, like any good writer, I think that the first post should be the most important.

What does Christianity look like from the inside?

Christ said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” – Mark 8:34-35

This is the core of what it is to be a true Christian. …But let’s unpack this just a little, because for each of us, personally, this is probably the scariest and most difficult single phrase in the Bible.

If anyone would come after me

The most prominent word in this phrase is the word “anyone.” …It might be better emphasized “The ONLY ones who will come after me” or “No one EXCEPT those who do this will come after me.”

This whole phrase (not just the first part) is an all-or-nothing statement. There is no wiggle room or excuse-making. There is no negotiation or half-measure. You are or you aren’t.

he must deny himself

This is not a matter of giving something up for lent or fasting for a day or two. What this advocates is to totally disregard one’s own desires and feelings. To agree to this is to forfeit entirely every single dream, every hope, every wish and every desire. Could you choose to lose whatever makes you yourself? Without a great deal of contemplation, can you even grasp what it means? That is the point we must come to in order to understand.

and take up his cross

I’m sure that Bible scholars could give you a better idea of what the connotations of this were when it was spoken. (Recall, this was BEFORE Christ died on the cross. Our minds immediately, unthinkingly supply context to this, but take this down to its base.) You must struggle with everything in you to lift and carry a terrible burden–one that, when you reach your destination, will, ironically and cruelly, be used to shame and humiliate you before the whole world while you die a slow, agonizing death.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it

This is actually the simplest part of the phrase. It is an emphasis and re-statement of what was already said and a guarantee that there are ONLY two possible ways to go. The long, straight hard road to Life… or one of the many other ways.

How would that play out, Really?

…Look, I don’t know about you, but I personally have enough trouble just deciding to get out of bed in the morning. Unpacking what that phrase means and agreeing to live by it? How many people do you know who could straight-up, honestly agree to that?

How many people do you know who are CAPABLE of making that promise then sticking to it? I know for a fact that I cannot promise to do anything of the sort. I’m just flat not strong enough or self-disciplined enough. …If I get up my courage I might be able to say “OK, take it. Take my life. Take my family. Take my money. Take my pride. Take it all.” …But to willfully do what that verse suggests?

…When I was very young, however, I made exactly that promise. (Somehow thinking I was capable of it. I even knew what it meant at the time.)

Since then, I’ve stumbled more times than I can count and fallen flat on my face. I’ve reached the end of my strength. I’ve given up a few times and just lain there in the road for a year or two. …But I still won’t turn back, and someday, maybe, I’ll get to be done with the dying part and just have some peace.

Am I a true Christian? …I hope so. Maybe I’ll get to ask Him someday.

What does Christianity look like from the outside?

Basically, it makes no sense. It’s like a rational person looking at a piece of modern art. It has no meaning. It defies the “natural” order of things and bewilders the senses. It is foolishness. Those who are not called… and those who do not heed that call.. are, quite literally, unable to understand the truth that is Christ.

Foolishness!

What is the basis for happiness as most of the world sees it? …Simple answer. Self-gratification. This can take many forms. For brevity’s sake, let’s just name the three main categories. First is power. Power may mean money, status or the ability to command others. Second is pleasure (usually sensual pleasure). Pleasure may be sex or some form of drug or any number of other things (most of which involve using the brain to produce natural drugs). Third is self-righteousness. Yes I am serious. This probably accounts for more self-gratification in the world than the other two put together.

Christianity shuns all these things for their own sake, and the rest of the world simply is not capable of understanding that. Those who are more honest admit that they don’t understand it. The rest just say it’s foolishness. (The definition of the word insanity: a foolish or senseless action, policy, statement, etc.:)

By any standard that the world is capable of understanding, anything that is not done for self-gratification is literally insane. …And so, by any definition that most people are capable of understanding, true Christianity is foolishness.

Social Destabilization

On the other hand, Christianity genuinely frightens people. Why? …The basic reason is that Christianity attacks the value system that everyone else lives by. Money? Power? Status? Respect? even Self-Righteousness? …Anything and everything that the world places value upon, Christianity has nothing but scorn for. Christianity attacks those things as evil and condemns those who seek them to the pit of hell for eternity. (Talk about adding insult to injury.) Even life and liberty are worthless to a Christian.

On the face of it, that doesn’t seem a reason for fear. Contempt maybe, but fear? …How does that work?

Society is based on people being willing to give everything they have and everything they are to obtain the things that society considers valuable. Life… Yes. Most people would give anything to keep their lives. Freedom? Of course. People are willing even to die rather than lose their freedom at times. Provided the first two are guaranteed (mostly), society is built on pursuing the others–money, status, etc.

Even more than that, what happens when threatening to take away someone’s life or liberty no longer has any meaning for them? How do you control them?

Worse still, what if the person in question gives absolute allegiance to someone the world has no control over, to the point of being willing to die for that person?

The Death of the World as They Know It

Now, put aside for a moment everything that you know about Christianity. What I just described sounds an awful lot like the mindset of Islamic terrorists, doesn’t it?

Actually, in a very real way, Islamic terror is a step down from Christianity, because Islamic terrorists still care about the same power structure that the world does. They’re just bent on destroying the parts of it that don’t fit their view of how the world should be.

Christianity goes a step further and destroys any purpose for it. …This is why the world is threatened by true Christianity–because we are the only counter-culture that attacks everything they hold valuable.

…And even when the world doesn’t recognize the danger posed by Christianity, fully one-third of the angels that God created do, and they hate true Christians with all the passion that ten thousand years of arrogance and affront can engender.

In short, if you are truly a Christian, the entire world is going to hate you. They’re going to despise you. They’re going to try to discredit you. They’re going to do everything they can to destroy you.

THAT is the core of Modern Apocrypha.